Snapshots from the Life of David — Week 3 Study Guide

“The Pain of Betrayal”

THIS WEEK'S SCRIPTURE: 2 Samuel 18:33; 19:1-8

ADDITIONAL READING: 2 Samuel 15:1-18

Introduction

Life gets very complicated when we do not follow God's design for marriage and the family. The true story of Absalom's betrayal of his father King David must be understood with that background.

David had seven wives. Each of them had numerous children. David's firstborn son was named Amnon, and he was born to David's wife Ahinoam. Presumably, under normal circumstances Amnon, as the firstborn son, would be the next King. However, David had other wives who gave birth to sons. David's firstborn son from his wife Abigail was Chileab (aka Daniel). David's firstborn son from his third wife, Maacah, was Absalom. The list goes on. For a complete list, consult 1 Chronicles chapter 3. There was jealousy and rivalry between the wives and their sons. David had a preference for Absalom and loved him deeply.

Here is a short history of what happened prior to the verses above, so you can understand the complexity of David's family and all of the brokenness (all references are from the book of 2 Samuel): 

• Amnon (first firstborn) rapes his half sister Tamar, who is Absalom's full sister. (Chapter 13)

• Absalom deceives King David and murders his brother Amnon. (Chapter 13)

• Absalom runs away and stays for 3 years with his maternal grandfather, the king of Geshur.

• David permits Absalom to return but refuses to see Absalom. (Chapter 14)

• After two years, David sees Absalom again. (2 Samuel 14:33)

• Absalom spends 4 years winning over the hearts of the people in order for the people to follow him. His plan works, and Absalom declares himself king. (Chapter 15)

• David and his men leave Jerusalem and run for their lives. (Chapters 15-16)

• There is war between Absalom's forces and David's forces. David's men kill Absalom (ignoring David's request to go easy on Absalom), and David recovers the kingship.
  (Chapter 17)

Background Information

It was the custom and tradition at that time for the king whose troops were victorious in battle to sit at the city gate and welcome and thank his men. David did not do this but went to his room to cry. This action would deeply affect the army of David to the point that they would probably end their support of David. Joab was the commander of David's army and also a nephew of David's (son of David's sister). Psalm 3 was written at the time of Absalom's betrayal. From reading it, you can appreciate how bad the betrayal was. A number of David's trusted officials sided with Absalom.

Key Points

• We cannot pass through life without getting hurt. Pain and disappointment (and betrayal) in this world are inevitable.  — Francis Frangipane

• Do not let someone's betrayal of you define who you are or derail you from your God-given purpose. You will recover completely.

• Sometimes the people we thought would be with us on our journey will fail us, but God will always provide the people we need as long as we keep moving and don't get stuck.

Digging Deeper Questions

1. Have you ever felt the pain of betrayal? Discuss how that felt.
2. What has helped you heal from the pain?
3. Describe David's emotional state as described in these verses. What effect was that having upon the men in David's army? How can you relate this to your life?
4. What did Joab do in verses 5-7? Why? Do you have people in your life who can confront you when you need it? How important has a Point of Light group been in your life?
5. How do you think David felt when he went to be with the troops? Do you think he felt like doing that? Why did he do it?
6. What advice would you give to someone who has experienced a betrayal in their lives?
7. What do you want to apply in your life from this study?

This Week’s Challenge

Seek to be a friend to someone in need this week.